i didn't blog yesterday because for a majority of the day i was upset. Very upset.

First of all, i finally broke down and told Master that there has been something on my mind. i have been feeling very lonely. i didn't want to, nor did i know how to tell Him because i didn't want Him to think that i needed or wanted someone else. That is far from the truth. i am just feeling physically alone right now. It was a real breakthrough for me to let Him know that. i teared the second He knew because i was finally relieved of the weight of carrying that feeling around. i did tell Him that i was scared to tell Him and i don't think He was too happy with that fear, but reassured me that i must tell Him everything. i was not punished from withholding this information from Him.

So on top of already feeling lonely, i was told that someone who is in my life is moving far away. In trying not to give up too much information of my personal life, this person is not someone who i am involved in, but an ex that needs to stay locally because of some personal needs. Initially my emotions took over and i lashed out on this person as well as allowing the feeling heighten my feeling of physical loneliness. i am beyond pissed that this person is moving away because this will be taking away personal time from me as well as putting on additional responsibility that really should be a shared one. That being said, there is nothing i can do but work it out with Master. He told me that all will be fine and worked out and i believe Him. He always fixes and takes care of everything. i have all of the faith in Him and trust Him explicitly.

Talking to my best about this situation this afternoon also made me come to the realization of why i "really" wanted this person to stay around me. i am scared of being on my own. Completely alone. Relying on no one but myself in case i need help. That is the honest and absolute truth. What if something happens at home and i need help with something? What do i do? How do i handle it? That is what i am afraid of. But i will take each issue as it comes and i will discuss all of these issues with Master. He will decide. i was scared of making these decisions, but i forgot that i don't have to. i don't have to because i am owned and i do not make decisions. Master does. He decides what i do. So no worries, no stress over what i do.

Also another reality hit me last night. For 20 plus years i have been biting the side of my cheek and my lip. It suddenly hit me that i have completely stopped doing it. i was beside myself - literally. It was a "holy shit" moment. i have been trying to stop doing that for forever, and without even realizing it Master has done that. He has taken away that bad habit. He has removed the stress from my life so the bad habit was also removed. i literally cannot believe He's done that! i am completely in shock and totally amazed.

i simply cannot say enough about this Man that owns me. There are not enough words to explain how amazing He is and how i am so very lucky! And you know what.....i don't feel lonely anymore. Dam He's so good! Freakin' blog has helped. He probably knew it would..........